But Officer.......

During my high school years, I discovered that nerdy boys were so much better than the popular boys.
Why?
Because they would do anything that you asked. (And would even do it with a smile on their face.)

It was October 1988, I was 17 yrs old, and my boyfriend was around 19 years old. We'd been dating a few months now (FOR.EVER. in teenage years). We had just gone shopping for our Halloween costumes. I had decided that we were going as caveman and cave woman. (because, as all bad girls know, Halloween is just the perfect night to dress up slutty, and not be called a slut.) My boyfriend was going to wear baggy fur underwear, while I was going to be wearing a fur bikini. Since my fur bikini was absolutely so adorable, I was trying it on again, (for like, the tenth time.) in order to show my younger sister. We were joking around, being young and stupid, when we noticed the gardeners truck outside.
The truck was a basic pick up truck but it was upgraded with what can only be described as a metal cage on the back. The metal iron was fused directly to the bed of the truck. The equipment was locked in the cage in between jobs. The hand tools were hung in metal tubing along side the cage. All of these modification made it looked prehistoric and kindof creepy.
PERFECT.
While the workers started working on the back yard, we ran outside to the truck. I convinced my younger, unlicensed sister to get behind the wheel. Me and Thor climbed in the cage. He started pounding his chest, while I beat against the cage with a big plastic Fred Flintstone size club. We slowly drove up the street, my sister honking the horn the entire time.

Damn, it was fun.










Until we heard the chirp of the siren.

Oh, uh.

Apparently, one of the neighbors thought that there was a wild band of dirty hippies (<---her words....not mine) that were invading our neighborhood. Really.
The officer made us sit on the curb. (he had no regard for my cute fur bikini possibly getting ruined.) My poor boyfriend turned a unnatural and creepy shade of white. My sister, well, she just thought it was the funniest thing ever. The officer was all business, and didn't want to hear any of our excuses. He called our home, and just as he was relaying the message, a band of gardeners started running up the street towards us. (actually, this is probably the funniest part of the whole day.) They came over and the boss didn't want to press charges. (I think my mother promised him homemade tamales weekly, for the rest of his life.) The officer let us go, once my mom arrived (in her house dress and hair in curlers).
As we started the walk back home, the officer took us aside, and said, "okay, who's bright idea was it??" then he started laughing so hard, he turned red.
"I don't want to see any of you again," he added as he got in his paddywagon.





Unfortunately, he'll say this to me at least 6 more times in my lifetime.